The holiday season is often a time when families get together to celebrate the season. Aunts, uncles, cousins, greet each other and sit around the kitchen or the living room catching up and marveling at how much has happened since they have last seen each other. It is during these times that phrases like this may be uttered: “Stubbornness is a Smith family trait” or “I think he got his good looks from his uncle”, or “You are going to be tall just like your mother”.   For the adoptive family who often celebrates differences, hearing these phrases can be disconcerting. These moments are opportunities to challenge, educate, redirect or affirm comments from others. Often these comments are not malicious but just not well thought out. It may be beneficial to take some time to check in with your family and ask each other how these comments make them feel. Allow your children the space and the time to talk with you about how or if any conversations affected them.