Regina Kupecky just gave a talk entitled, ‘The Confusing World of Brothers, Sisters and Adoption’. The talk was a good reminder about the importance of talking and thinking about siblings as they relate to adoption. In the adoption community we spend a lot of time talking about birth parents, but not as much time talking about all the kinds of siblings that exist for our children. Regina named eight kinds of siblings: birth siblings, half siblings, unknown siblings, adopted siblings, step- siblings, foster siblings, ghost siblings and fictive siblings. Ghost siblings are siblings who have died and fictive siblings are friends who are so close they feel like siblings. She emphasized that not knowing whether or not you have siblings is often worse then knowing you have them but not being able to meet them. Sometimes if the adults do not talk about siblings the child feels that the topic is ‘forbidden’. I invite you to start talking and listening to your child about this subject. This can be as simple as casually asking if they ever think about their siblings. Another way to bring it up is to make a family tree with them. Just doing this activity with them may bring out questions or thoughts they might be having. Check out the website www.FamilyTreeTemplates.net to get some ideas. Regina Kupecky’s workbook, The Confusing World of Brothers, Sisters and Adoption” is available on http://www.tapestrybooks.com.
